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A.S.D.F - Comedy Police RP. (INVITE ONLY. P.m. me.)

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Postby Coeur » June 2nd, 2010, 7:38 pm

Why is he getting all the attention!? Calvin thought with a small frown as he looked at the one eyed black man, who looked more nervous then any man should in such a situation. I'd love to take you up on that shower option though! He leered as he not so subtly stared at the tallest woman's rear end. A cough interrupted him and he stepped forward in panic, drawing attention to him. Uh-oh, run with it!

"Calvin Warner, sir!" He saluted. "I recently graduated from Academy and was assigned here... umm... no real skills yet, I mean, I did well in academy.. I guess I need to see what I can accomplish." Wow that sounded lame... Everyone else seemed to have loads of experience so far. "Can I just say it will be an honour working with a woman as-" He began before trailing off. The Captain had a raised eyebrow and a neutral expression... but the American behind her was frantically shaking his head and miming a slitting-throat motion. Panic on his face. "Umm.. yeah..." He finished. Stepping back a little quickly.

Out of the frying pan...
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Postby HowlinJimmyJefferson » June 3rd, 2010, 1:26 am

Deciding it was time to let the awkward moment pass, Jason stepped forward to introduce himself. "Former Colonel Jason Macmillan, sir! Served in the British Millitary for four and a half years. My speciality is marksmanship, which is sniping for those of you less adept with the jargon," he shot a brief look towards Calvin, who appeared to have inherited Jason's earlier confusion, "I've also received training in camouflage, field craft, infiltration, reconnaissance and observation." He stepped back, allowing Sylvia to step forward. "Oh, and I'm quite the scientist." He smiled.

"Former Lieutenant Sylvia Klingenberg, sir! I've worked for the SIS - MI6 to most of you - for three and a half years, and of course, I specialised in supplying our government with enemy intel. My preferred speciality in combat is knife throwing." The impracticality of such an art got her a few odd looks. She thought about justifying it, but decided against it.

Phew, well that broke the tension...sort of.
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Postby Coeur » June 3rd, 2010, 1:53 am

"Right..." Laura muttered, leafing through a few small sheets on a clip board. Really, not as bad as she had feared. One of them looked to be either drunk or recovering, but hey, only one! "Well I'll go through the rules quickly with you." She paused as her mind drew blanks, what were the rules again? Seriously... David wandered around the complex shooting fire alarms for fun. "Follow my orders, that's about it." She finished lamely, hoping it sounded good enough.

"Onto more important things. Unless we have a case to go through we aren't realistically obliged to patrol or leave the building." It was actually requested that they didn't unless necessary either. Somewhere in the Human Rights Act, she believed. "Feel free to amuse yourselves at those times... but try and keep the damage to a minimum, and stay the F*ck out of my office as you do." What else.. what else. It had been too long since she had done this.

"This building has four floors, and a sub level. This being the ground floor contains this foyer, my office and the main entrances. Second level is the firing range and weapon storage. Third level is containment, and the fourth... the fourth.... what's in the fourth level David?" She asked, frowning a little uncertainly.

"Errr... not sure Captain... I think we sent Ian to check it out, but he never returned." He scratched his head as he said it.

"He didn't?" She asked, feeling a little guilty that she had forgotten about her old employee. A few of her newest recruits seemed to be looking a little uncertain.

"No, we hear scuffling sounds occasionally, odd bumps. I try to avoid letting the elevator stop at that floor." That seemed a good policy, how weird that she had forgotten all about that...

"Err yeah. Roof access also, nothing up there. Sub level is the garage and vehicles. We have two elevators and a set of stairs, though they're collapsed from the second level up.. so yeah." That had been from the RPG incident, the stairs didn't hold up to a rocket propelled grenade very well. Neither did the guy really. Okay, now the new recruits were looking positively stricken. Maybe she shouldn't have broke them in too early.

"Well, enough of that!" She shouted out, snapping them to attention. "Let's head up to the second floor and get you all kitted up. David, you take the lead, I'll finalise some paper work." Maybe I should call an exterminator as well, probably some nasty rats up on that floor...

---------------------------------------------------------

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen. To the armoury!" David shouted out, bowing and waving his arms dramatically. It was a little underwhelming in actuality. A rounded counter, like one might find at a retail store, and a door leading into a back room. There were a few long shooting lanes, though some of the walls to seperate the lanes looked to have been blown up. None of the targets at the end remained, just a couple of metal sheets with bullseyes drawn on them.

"So." David began, leaping over the counter and turning to face them like he was a barman. "What'll ye be having. Line up, son't be shy. Your wish... is my desire."
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Postby DanteSilver » June 3rd, 2010, 5:12 am

"Uh, do we get to keep ranks here, or what? Your Captain lady isn't, wasn't as thorough as her exterior demanded," Ania said slowly, measuring each word so the decibel level remained monotonous and safely below any kind of horrid level. She shot a quick glance at who she thought was the bomb tech. Instead he was some British ghillie suit. Definitely not him, seriously, where is that guy, he owes me sooooooo much money right now?! she thought to herself.
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Postby Coeur » June 3rd, 2010, 10:24 am

"Hmm, yes and no." David replied as he leaned on the counter. "No as in; you don't keep your ranks, you've all become privates under my command. Yes as in; what I just said is right."
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Postby HowlinJimmyJefferson » June 3rd, 2010, 2:26 pm

'Long range rifles,' said Jason
'And knives!' Sylvia added.
'Maybe two different ones so we can choose?'
'Or three, perhaps?'
'In fact, just get the lot out.'
'It'd be nice to see the entire selection.'
The excitement of acquiring new firearms seemed to have built up through the day. They all stared, almost like kids at an ice-cream van, waiting for David to reveal the arsenal of weapons the ASDF had to offer them.
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Postby Coeur » June 3rd, 2010, 3:13 pm

"Get em all out?" David whistled with a rather worried expression on his face. Perhaps they didn't realise how much of an enthusiast he was, he wondered as he peeked into the storage room. A 45cm tank barrel stared back at him menacingly.

"Eh, I don't do throwing knives." He remarked with a shrug as he tossed a few combat blades on the table. Many wickedly serrated, as he valued `cool factor`over practicality.

"Right well, I'll start simple. This is our standard assault rifle, called the Pulse Rifle." He pulled out what appeared to be a submachine gun, styled much like a UMP-45, though instead of a magazine it had a round barrel. "No idea why it's called that. It uses neither lasers or sonic waves to fire bullets. Go figure. Weeell... this is classed as an inhumane weapon and is illegal, so if anyone see's you firing it, try to make sure they're dead... not usually a difficult task. You're looking at 160 rounds in a single barrel, and an RPM of 950. Kinda stupid to ban them really, I mean... that just means the criminals will have them and not the good guys. Laser sights can be added and will be given to you all. Because nothing is as badass as a laser sight."

"Also, our enemies won't have these as the developer was killed a few weeks back, and his lab destroyed." He scratched the back of his head as he said that, looking round a little nervously. "We got a wide array of side arms, from Desert Eagles to Walthers, and even revolvers I've modified to fire seven bullets."

"Question! Why seven bullets?" Calvin asked, wondering why he didn't add more.

"For the irony, mainly. Got a few Sniper rifles, anti-tank, anti-aircraft, anti-fleshy guy, anti-jewish. Grenade launchers, shotguns, RPG's - though I'm not allowed to give those out - flame throwers. Napalm rifle... tasers.." He sounded disgusted at the last one. "I do have one Rail Gun, if anyone wants to figure out how it works, and take responsibility for the rod going through the firing range and into neighbouring offices. Loads of grenadess... incendiary, flash, smoke, white phosph-i mean um.. hot snow... Hight Explosive. I also have explosive vests if anyone fancies going all Allah Aqbar on us? No?"

"So anyone have any special requests, over the Pulse rifles? Come on... someone wants something exotic."
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Postby HowlinJimmyJefferson » June 4th, 2010, 10:28 am

'Aye, I've got an exotic request, mate,' Jason stepped forward, interested in what exactly David had back there. 'Show me yer strongest and longest ranged sniper rifle. Even a prototype'll do.'

Sylvia examined the combat knives that had been thrown down on the table. "Hmm, rather heavy, strange design, but still surprisingly aerodynamic." She concluded she could make use of them for now.
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Postby Coeur » June 4th, 2010, 3:26 pm

"Ah right. A sniper rifle. Nice choice. Considering we're a paramilitary operation we don't usually deal with situations over 1,000m, so we have alot more leeway over military rifles." He ducked into the back stores after saying it, there was the sound of a few boxes and large metal objects hitting the ground, along with a few curses.

"Right, I'm back. Check this beauty out my man. Barret. Except no fuckng substitue."

Image

"You're looking at a Barret model 98B, two forms of fire, five clip magazine containing .461 Barret anti-personal rounds, accurate up to 1800m, and importantly. Ferocious below 1,000. Which is where we will spend most of our time." He held it out to the man, letting him take the cold beauty.

"Your second form of fire is an optional bolt action lever, run out of ammo or flip the second safety and eject the current one round, and you can lay in one of these beauties." He then opened a small white box, taking out a rather long projectile. "Say hello to a Raufoss Mk 211 round. This has two chambers at the tip. The first, which isn't at the tip. Is a high grade explosive, which will explode on impact, pushing the final chamber forwards. This one is filled with liquid incendiary. Titanium tip. This is an anti-material round that the Red Cross are currently working on banning. It will go straight through tank armour or obstacles, then explode, spraying incendiary inside. Exposed dudes will burn to death in 0.87 seconds of exposure."

"The rifle itself weighs a mere 13lbs, so it won't weigh you down and can even be fired from the hip if needed. Length is short enough that you won't need a stock or a ledge to rest it on. It'll fire anyway you want it to. This is illegal in in eight NATO countries, including our own."

"God, I'm getting turned on. Who's next. Oh aye, props to note, our APC also comes equipped with an M82A1 special applications rifle in the trunk, equipped with .408 Chey tacs. That's the current longest ranged rifle in existance. But it can only be fired from a stationary position. So stick with the Barret unless we're in dire need."
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Postby DanteSilver » June 5th, 2010, 7:05 am

"Uh, I need your quickest firing pistols. Probably four of them. I've got the room for all of them on me. Probably MP-443 Grachs yeah, they're nice," Ania said as Jason moved away like a kid in a candy store, or rather the kid running out of the candy store happy, "but they've gotta pack a punch. Like, I want to be able shoot someone through a wall too..."

"And that railgun, lemme take a look at that, it's every girl's dream to shoot a motherfucker through a wall with one of those!" Now she was the kid in the same candy store Jason frequented!
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Postby HowlinJimmyJefferson » June 5th, 2010, 3:40 pm

"It's...perfect." Jason said, feeling the cold metal in his hands. "Well, almost. If I can just adjust the..." his speech transformed into muttered technical jargon probably only understood by David. He dumped his rucksack on the floor, taking out several screws, bolts and pieces. "Aye, if that could jus' be removed I can make this compatible with..." A few worried looks shot across to him as he began to dismantle his newly acquired weapon. "Ha ha! Yeah, this is perfect!" he suddenly shouted out. "What else does a man need when he has this?!"
"A girlfriend, perhaps?" Sylvia scowled. He seemed not to hear her. Hmph, men and big guns... Of course, 'big guns' had an entirely different meaning for her... "Hey, you got any grenades back there, lieutenant? All types will do" As long as I have something to throw... she thought, dismissing any thoughts of 'big guns' or men with 'big guns'.
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Postby Coeur » June 5th, 2010, 5:42 pm

"Girlfriends are boring. I've never seen the point in then when I can wade into a building and mow down bastards who probably deserved it."

"Hey Russian, catch." He offered, hoisting the unchambered rail gun and tossing it to the slight woman. Whether she had expected it or not the gun weighed 22kg, forcing her to drop it with a loud bang. "I'll get you a backstrap for it if ya want. Grachs? Eh, I got nothing against using Russian guns... specially if you can kill the commies with them. Only got two Grach's though. you can have these two as well then. Sig Sauer P226's. Similar automatic design." He watched her playing with the railgun, something almost heart warming about seeing a small girl with a big gun. If David ever had a family, he could imagine a little girl running round the house with a Desert Eagle. How cute.

"Oh aye, Your... eh... rods.. for the gun. They weigh 5kg's as well. Each. Carry as many as you can, but let's not be weighed down too much." She could always leave it in the APC he guessed, there was more than enough room, and she could pull it out when the situation called.

"Aaaand for you Sylvia. Yeah grenades." A backpack reminiscent of what one might keep sports equipment in smashed on the table, many things rattling inside. "Red is High Explosive, 'nough said. White is... eh.... y'know... Phospherus." He took the time to look around to see if anyone had heard him. "Grey is smoke, blue are flash. Oooh check this one out, made it myself. I call it an Oven bomb. Not very creative I know. What I've done is fill the canister with small rings of a heat conductive rubber, as well as a high explosive and incendiary charge. The canister explodes on the primer as usual, the incendiary ignites the rubber to three thousand degrees celsius, the HE impacts it, making it a little hotter and tossing it around. The best thing about this is that it doesn't need to hit anyone. It'll turn a room into an oven on levels of seven hundred degrees within like three seconds. While flaming rubber flings itself about. Do NOT use it in open space or when we're around.. we'll all die." While he had been speaking he'd been tossing the purple coloured canister from hand to hand, not noticing everyone's eyes watching it nervously.

"Calvin? You?"

"Eh...." He stuttered, not sure he wanted any of these weapons which might cost him his life at any moment. "I'll just use the... pulse rifle... thing."

"Pussy. Now, who wants to test their guns out!? Not you, Ania." He quickly added, pointing at the woman who was still trying to get a long rod into the railgun.
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Postby HowlinJimmyJefferson » June 6th, 2010, 5:31 pm

'Aye, I'll need to test this soon.'
The sniper was in bits now as Jason fiddled with and changed around various parts. 'When this baby's done she'll be able to take out yer eyeball at least 2500 metres away.'
Sylvia shot him an ironic look. It was probably this kind of attitude that lost him his eye in the first place, she thought. She directed her attention to the bag of explosives David had left her. Hmm, there's no way I'm carrying around this heavy bag with me... perhaps if these can be attached to my belt...
Badly prepared targets stood in the opposite direction of weapons room David was in. Was this really also the training room? Or had someone simply set these up in a half-arsed effort to practice their aim without moving more than a few metres? She threw one of the combat knives at the badly drawn target, hitting the centre dead on. The target board fell straight on its side and the noise turned a few heads. Just as she thought, the heavy looking knives were oddly aerodynamic. 'Yeah, these'll do for now,' she said.
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Postby Coeur » June 6th, 2010, 5:39 pm

"They'll have to." A female voice shouted out urgently as Laura stamped into the room. "Kit up, we have a mission. David grab four combat vests and knee pads. We're going in lukewarm."

"Ah really?" The American complained while looking down on himself. "I'm in full combat gear too. If I'd known I'd have brought some jeans an-" A bullet ricochetted off the wal behind him, snapping him to attention as he saluted. "Aye sir. Four combat vests coming up. Two female, two male. Stat."

He tossed the kevlar jackets on the counter, two being slightly adjusted to allow for certain female assets. A bunch of metal pads fell next, with straps around them.

"Everyone to the sub level, David, you're driving. Fire up the APC. Everyone meet us there, you have two minutes to get those on over your clothing." With that the two commanding officers rushed into the elavator, the doors closing behind them.

"A mission this soon!?" Calvin shouted in shock, rushing to pull the jacket on over his t-shirt, he grabbed the Pulse rifle that David had left on the counter. "Shouldn't we like... get a briefing or something before we charge in?"
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Postby DanteSilver » June 30th, 2010, 5:11 pm

---- Front door.

Wow, so Harvey had been waiting for a long time. Whatever needed clearing up with the transport authorities seemed to disappear as soon as he mentioned his involvement with the A.S.D.F. Although explaining who and what he worked for took the longer. He had no idea what he would be doing with them, so the improv he had to go through was pretty creative. It was the dreams, really, narcolepsy meant constant subconscious trips.. so he had a vat to dive into and impress the suits with.

Now he was here, perhaps where he should have been had he not fallen asleep at the start of this all. But there was no answer at the gates. No intercom response, nothing. Nada. Not a sausage...

"Not a sausage? Stupid vacuum adverts seeping into my vernacular..." he tutted as he sat on top of his suitcase, resting his chin on his palms. Sleep would inevitably spring up on him like a ninja.
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