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Reign The Conquerer...review *Laughs*

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Reign The Conquerer...review *Laughs*

Postby Curt » October 1st, 2006, 4:27 pm

If your asking yourself. Why is that bastard Curt reviewing an anime that is already on this site? Read the entire review and it will all make sense.

Let me lay this out straight for you: there are only three animes in the world that I despise so much, I wish a horrible and painful death upon their creators. Reign: The Conquerer, Medabots, and the last is Beyblade.

Have you ever read a history book? Then maybe you've heard of some joker named Alexander the Great! He conquered most of the Baltic states and parts of Asia and Africa in the some century, some two letters (sorry, can't remember, I think BC). Anyway, this show is about Alexander the Great! Yeah, but not the one you were reading about--this one wears a metal bikini!

Reign is painful to watch. Not because of any gripping, emotional story, but because the animation is simply wretched. One really must see it to believe it. Everyone appears to be about 7 ft. tall with a 20-inch waist and lanky legs. Even worse, very few of the men in the show like to wear pants, which most male viewers will not appreciate. While you do grow somewhat used to it as the series goes on, I was almost sick to my stomach for a good portion of Reign. Take a glance at the packaging that can give yourself an idea, but it's ten times worse in the show. Supposedly, Peter Chung, the character designer, is a great and famous anime artist, but after seeing this, I can say that he deserves to be a roadside carnival caricature artist. He can draw people the way they would look if they lived near a nuclear power plant when they were little.

The plot takes the legend of Alexander the Great, and gives it a sci-fi twist that I can only call "stupid." There is so much crap that doesn't even make sense. There's always just undead this, and mutated that, and poorly animated Angry-at-You-for-Absolutely-No-Reason Man coming out of nowhere, hell-bent on taking out Alexander. What the hell do these guys have to do with the plot? Nothing.

Adding to previous gripes, Reign: The Conqueror is genuinely gross at times. I'm all in support of blood and gore when it is necessary, but do I NEED to see a horse biting someone's head off and crushing it between his teeth while it chews the big, gooey mess? The answer is no. Also in this "nasty department" is Alexander's mom. In the 1st episode, she's in a scene in which she's giving birth while hanging out with a snake that is wrapped around her pale, pregnant body. That's just uncalled for. At first, I thought that because of her orgasmic moaning that she and the snake were getting it on. This leads me to discuss the poor acting...

Alexander, when not in battle, is a piece of cardboard. His voice matches him well, but his character is so flat. And while other characters may be better established, their acting is just horrible--not believable for a minute.

The sound is also worthless. The music is terribly annoying slow pop songs (Japanese and otherwise), except for the endings, which sound like they were made by a guy who took at least a few piano lessons before he started pounding that keyboard. The dub is terrible; the casting is all fine, all good, all well, but not one of the actors in the show can act (actually, they might have done this on purpose so that they could accurately portray the complete lack of personality in any character). It seems, however, (to be fair) that the dub could have been okay but the show the actors were working on was too flat and boring to bring out their talent.

Overall - You ever heard the saying that 1000 monkeys given 1000 typewriters for 1000 years would produce the entire works of Shakespeare? This anime would take 5 monkeys flinging their own crap at the monitor for 5 minutes.

Verdict: 2/10 - I would recommend this show to no one except for fans of Beyblade and Medabots; not because it has similar subject matter, but because anyone who is a fan of those shows must be a massochist. Well, this show will hurt too

This was strikly reviewed to express my rediculous hate for this utter indescribable Garbage Vagabond of an anime. Just remember to gauge your eye's out before viewing, it will hurt you less that way.
Last edited by Curt on October 3rd, 2006, 11:55 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Postby Susu06 » October 1st, 2006, 5:08 pm

Lol Everybody is telling me how horrible this anime is, so i'm staying away from it, and trying not to watch it.
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Postby Crim » October 2nd, 2006, 9:59 am

BOOO susu thats not how its done, you watch the anime then you can make your own decision...also i lol'd at the moneys part
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Postby Susu06 » October 2nd, 2006, 1:03 pm

I would do that, but not for this anime.
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Postby acdbrn » March 4th, 2007, 12:06 am

Okay, I agree with beyblade and medabots, but this is not quite the same. Reign is ok, nowhere close to its stylistic predecessor, Aeon Flux. I will admit one thing it is not really an anime, it is more of art show.
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